Men dealing with Anxiety and depression
Dark days and stormy nights, dealing with anxiety and depression can be very debilitating. There is nothing fun about having to deal with these issues, however, there is hope.
Anxiety and depression aren’t rare for men, they’re just rarely talked about. According to the National Institute of Mental Health, roughly 14% of men experience an anxiety disorder in a given year, and depression affects millions more. Men are still far less likely than women to ever see a mental health professional about it, which means a lot of men are fighting the exact same battle I was, mostly in silence. Most days it felt less like a bad mood and more like an actual fight, one that started before I even got out of bed.
I fought hard each day trying to battle the rage that was going on inside my head. I felt like my life was spinning out of control at times. But there was something inside me that knew I could get better. I can learn to manage my thoughts and my emotions.
It is difficult to imagine relief from anxiety and depression when deep in the depths of the suffering. Yet, I knew there was something I could do, I just didn’t know what. But something in me refused to accept that this was just how it was going to be from now on.
I came to discover something very profound. I mean, it was profound for me, perhaps not for most people. I had this moment where I found myself seeing people enjoying themselves, having a good time. I also wanted that. But in order for that to happen, I had to do something. But what, I thought. I wasn’t looking for a quick fix. I’d tried plenty of those already and none of them held up for long.
I remember something I read a long time ago. It was like the moment was right for me to understand something that was implanted in me years ago, but I must not have been ready to fully understand it.
There before me, as I looked into my mirror, I began to notice something. It wasn’t my eyes or my face that I noticed. It was what was being processed as I looked into the mirror and seeing my face and my eyes.
What was doing this processing?
How was it doing it?
I realized everything I was looking at was being processed by my brain. All of my thoughts. All of my thinking. I discovered I was battling my brain. The gray matter between my eyes was controlling all of me. And in fact, it is controlling you too.
Not so profound? Well, I eventually developed what I call the STRONG Method. I shared this method in a recent podcast interview I was featured on and I like to share it with you today. That shift, from feeling like my thoughts were just happening to me to realizing I could actually manage how I responded to them, changed everything about how I approached the rest of it. It wasn’t instant, and it wasn’t easy, but it was the first real foothold I found.
If you are battling anxiety and depression, I encourage you to listen to this episode. Your life is worth it. It just might be what changes your life too. I’m not a therapist, and this isn’t a replacement for professional care if you need it. But if you’re a man who’s been fighting this quietly and wants someone who’s actually been in it, that’s exactly the kind of work I do now, and you’re welcome to reach out.
Frequently Asked Questions
Why do men often struggle to talk about anxiety and depression?
Many men are conditioned to see emotional struggle as weakness, which makes it harder to name what they’re feeling, let alone ask for help.
What are common signs a man might be dealing with anxiety or depression?
Signs can include persistent low mood, irritability, withdrawing from people and activities you used to enjoy, trouble sleeping, and a general sense of heaviness that doesn’t lift.
What’s a good first step for a man who thinks he might be depressed or anxious?
Talking to someone — a doctor, therapist, or coach — is the first step. You don’t need to have it all figured out first; naming what’s going on out loud is often what starts the process of feeling better.
