The Relationship Manual for Men is Wayne Levine’s term for the framework in his bestselling book, “Hold On to Your N.U.T.s,” and it’s built around a concept that sounds blunt because it’s meant to be. It’s blunt by design, aimed at men who are done with vague advice and actually want something they can apply.
Relationship Manual for Men
Wayne Levine is the director of BetterMen Coaching and has been mentoring men for over 25 years. He is currently traveling the world as he coaches men individually and in groups, via Skype, to be the best men, fathers, husbands and leaders they can be. That kind of longevity in one field says something about how well the approach actually holds up in practice.
Wayne is also the author of the best-selling “Hold On to Your N.U.T.s – The Relationship Manual for Men”. From navigating divorce to finding your authentic spiritual path, Wayne’s personal experiences and breakthroughs guide him intuitively to help you find your truth as you journey through life, career, relationships, and your own transformation.
What The Relationship Manual for Men Actually Teaches
N.U.T.s stands for Non-Negotiable Unalterable Terms: the handful of things a man is genuinely committed to, the things that actually define him. Levine’s premise is that when those terms get compromised, whether from people-pleasing, conflict avoidance, or just losing track of what matters, a man turns into someone angrier, unhappier, and worse at being a father, husband, brother, or colleague than he actually wants to be.
A N.U.T. might be something like staying physically active, protecting time with your kids, or being honest even when it’s uncomfortable. Trivial on paper, but Levine’s point is that men rarely sit down and name these things explicitly, so they get traded away one small compromise at a time until a guy barely recognizes the life he’s living.
The eight BetterMen Tools work as a kind of check-in system, ways to notice when you’ve started drifting from what you actually value before the drift turns into resentment, a blowup, or a relationship that quietly falls apart. None of it requires becoming a different person. It requires paying attention to the same handful of things on purpose instead of by accident.
The book pairs that concept with what Levine calls the eight BetterMen Tools, practical guidelines for identifying your own N.U.T.s and holding onto them without turning into a pushover or a tyrant. The goal isn’t dominance over a relationship. It’s staying connected to your own needs and your own sense of self well enough that you can actually show up for someone else without quietly resenting it.
Levine has spent more than 25 years mentoring men individually and in groups as director of BetterMen Coaching, and his own path there included navigating a divorce and rebuilding his sense of purpose from the ground up, which is part of why his coaching leans on lived experience as much as theory. That’s a different starting point than a lot of relationship advice, which tends to focus on what to say or how to argue better. Levine’s version starts earlier than that, with a man actually knowing what he’s standing for in the first place.
The core idea, that a man who’s clear on his own non-negotiables is actually easier to be in a relationship with, not harder, is one of the more useful reframes out there for men trying to figure out where coaching or self-help even applies to them. If you want a similar kind of structure and accountability, contact me and let’s talk about what that looks like for you specifically. It’s a useful place to start regardless of whether you ever read the book.
For a full, dedicated guide to rebuilding after a breakup or divorce — including what the research says about the health risks and what real recovery looks like — read Life After Divorce: A Man’s Guide to Rebuilding.
If you’re navigating a breakup or divorce, visit my course, “Life After Divorce.”—Check out our other courses for men’s personal and professional development at strongmenacademy.com
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